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Besides losing my hair, being a white guy is another topic that I am fully qualified to discuss. You see, since my lowly birth, I’ve been a white guy. I’m approaching 30 years of life on this multi-colored planet with the majority of my experiences derived from being a white man. Yet, the misconceptions about white men constantly stun me, especially the perceptions from other men who are not white.
Let me provide two recent examples.
Last week, I was working out in a gym with this guy from Canada. He is extremely muscular; tall; wrinkle-free; intelligent; wealthy; tri-lingual; possesses Justin Bieber quality hair; and has a master’s degree, a great career, and a convivial personality. He was giving me an American style spot on the bench as we were discussing the finer points of hunting (attracting) women. I was sharing with him my vivid memories of a recent trip to Japan when he jumped to the obvious man topic of women. He said, “I bet you got lucky in Japan, they love white guys.” I laughed at him because I don’t think I’ve been randomly hit on since I was 22. It’s even more humorous to me that Mr. Perfect was insinuating that he thought I would do better than himself with women in Japan due to the pigment of my skin which reflects sunlight on bright days.
When I was in Japan, I met another cool teacher who was not white. While he was a very kind and caring gentlemen, he possessed no alpha male attributes and his list of perfections was not nearly as long as the other gentlemen’s. Nevertheless, while traveling, he asked me why I didn’t try to talk to any girls in Japan. He told me I should talk to them because I was white and I could be his secret weapon. He also told me that he bet girls loved me in Korea because I was white. I laughed at him because women in Korea don’t dig me because I have a big head and a big face.
These comments by other men are not rare occurrences. Over the last few years while living outside of the United States, I have encountered numerous guys who think certain girls prefer white guys or will automatically pursue a white guy if he shows interest. I’m not sure who perpetuates this myth, but as a white guy I can assure you it is false. Girls don’t like white guys; they like attractive men. Some of those men just happen to be white.
In February, I’ll have resided in Korea for two years. While living in this country that is obsessed with physical appearance, I have never been hit on or had an Asian girl express interest in me. In fact, Asian girls don’t even let me dance with them. I’m not the type of guy who tries to take girls home at clubs. However, I like dancing with girls for fun whether I’m attracted to them or not. In America, if you are not creepy and know how to have fun, many girls will dance with you regardless of what you look like. That’s not the case in Korea. If your looks don’t match their standards for who they would consider worthy of being their future husband, they will not dance with you. For example, when this white guy (me) approaches girls in Korea, they either push me away violently or scream “no hotel” and run away.
It’s even worse at my school. My students are not amazed that I am white. In fact, they tell me I am ugly every day and laugh at my hairline, my wrinkles, my height, and even what they consider an oddity: the line from my neck to my shoulders. Many of my students think I am forty years old, and they tell me I am old every day. In fact, I’ve seen far worse teachers score higher on evaluations from students based solely on their appearance. I’ve asked my students why they scored me lower than other teachers. Their most common response is, “Teacher, because you are ugly.”
It’s also hard for me to make friends at work with female co-workers because of my appearance. Trust me, I consider myself very charming, witty, funny, and spontaneous. However, they don’t like me because of my appearance. My other two male co-workers have lesser personalities (they are good guys, I’m just humbly submitting I’m better at talking to people) but are very attractive. Therefore, they get invited to do things by other teachers and are treated much better. My school has pretty much let me know that they are ready for me to leave so they can bring in another teacher who “looks different.”
I just want to make it clear to the world that there is no physical advantage of being a white man. Our hairlines are more likely to recede; we don’t create the appearance of diversity in the workforce; our skin wrinkles faster; it’s harder for us to be dark thus negating the tall, dark, and handsome moniker; and the world is evolving into a global community where being white represents a static past instead of a fluid future.
So, what’s my point? It’s not to complain or to give you the impression of low self esteem. I’m currently talking to a pretty hot American who I completely adore. Better yet, she will watch sci-fi with me and reads my blog. She’s not scared that I think spaceships are sexy. I’m completely satisfied with my dating life and I don’t believe for a second I am ugly. However, I can also accept that my skin possesses no magical, enchanting powers on women in Asia. Therefore, let me conclude with two messages.
To my Asian friends, don’t look at girls with white guys and use your skin color as an excuse for not getting what you want. Instead, focus on being interesting and looking the best you possibly can. Furthermore, if you are Asian you are already blessed with better hair, a more symmetrical face and fashion sense than white guys. Most foreign girls (or at least half) eventually become attracted to you once they adjust to living in Asia. However, the ones who aren’t attracted to you generally attribute it to how skinny you are and your lack of aggression. These are the only areas where you should be more like white guys and start building some muscle in the gym and start approaching more women. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Finally, this is to the white guys thinking about teaching overseas or working overseas because you think your whiteness in Asia will remedy the drought of women in your life. In actuality, cross-culture relationships with a language barrier are far more difficult to maintain. Also, Korean girls are kind of a pain in the @$$ to date. If you are not doing well with ladies in America, you will not do any better with ladies here because of the color of your skin. The Asian women chase the attractive white guys just like the American women back home. Plus, coming to a foreign country to pick up girls is an awful excuse for travel or existence. Develop a personality, interests, matching clothes, and hit the gym to look the best you possibly can. Those things will make you more attractive. Jumping the Pacific Ocean (or waving your limited edition Harry Potter [Or Gandolff] wand) will not improve your chances. If you’re ugly, it’s not a secret Asian women are unaware of. You can’t hide your face.
I hope this clears up any confusion about being an average white guy. If you have any questions about being white, don’t hesitate to contact me. The reality is not as glorious as the illusion. However, I fully intend to become the stereotypical rich white man so if I don’t respond just understand I am busy. And trust me; if I do become rich, it has nothing to do with what I look like and everything to do with the changes I am making in my own life.
Further Research on this Topic
The Adventures of Charisma Man– A comic strip that supposedly shows the transformative power of being white in Japan.
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