The Myth of White Guys and Asian Girls


Besides losing my hair, being a white guy is another topic that I am fully qualified to discuss.  You see, since my lowly birth, I’ve been a white guy.  I’m approaching 30 years of life on this multi-colored planet with the majority of my experiences derived from being a white man.  Yet, the misconceptions about white men constantly stun me, especially the perceptions from other men who are not white.

Let me provide two recent examples.

Last week, I was working out in a gym with this guy from Canada.  He is extremely muscular; tall; wrinkle-free; intelligent; wealthy; tri-lingual; possesses Justin Bieber quality hair; and has a master’s degree, a great career, and a convivial personality.  He was giving me an American style spot on the bench as we were discussing the finer points of hunting (attracting) women.  I was sharing with him my vivid memories of a recent trip to Japan when he jumped to the obvious man topic of women.  He said, “I bet you got lucky in Japan, they love white guys.”  I laughed at him because I don’t think I’ve been randomly hit on since I was 22.  It’s even more humorous to me that Mr. Perfect was insinuating that he thought I would do better than himself with women in Japan due to the pigment of my skin which reflects sunlight on bright days.

When I was in Japan, I met another cool teacher who was not white.  While he was a very kind and caring gentlemen, he possessed no alpha male attributes and his list of perfections was not nearly as long as the other gentlemen’s.  Nevertheless, while traveling, he asked me why I didn’t try to talk to any girls in Japan.  He told me I should talk to them because I was white and I could be his secret weapon.  He also told me that he bet girls loved me in Korea because I was white.  I laughed at him because women in Korea don’t dig me because I have a big head and a big face.

These comments by other men are not rare occurrences.  Over the last few years while living outside of the United States, I have encountered numerous guys who think certain girls prefer white guys or will automatically pursue a white guy if he shows interest.  I’m not sure who perpetuates this myth, but as a white guy I can assure you it is false.  Girls don’t like white guys; they like attractive men.  Some of those men just happen to be white.

In February, I’ll have resided in Korea for two years.  While living in this country that is obsessed with physical appearance, I have never been hit on or had an Asian girl express interest in me.  In fact, Asian girls don’t even let me dance with them.  I’m not the type of guy who tries to take girls home at clubs.  However, I like dancing with girls for fun whether I’m attracted to them or not.  In America, if you are not creepy and know how to have fun, many girls will dance with you regardless of what you look like.  That’s not the case in Korea.  If your looks don’t match their standards for who they would consider worthy of being their future husband, they will not dance with you.  For example, when this white guy (me) approaches girls in Korea, they either push me away violently or scream “no hotel” and run away.

It’s even worse at my school.  My students are not amazed that I am white.  In fact, they tell me I am ugly every day and laugh at my hairline, my wrinkles, my height, and even what they consider an oddity: the line from my neck to my shoulders.  Many of my students think I am forty years old, and they tell me I am old every day.  In fact, I’ve seen far worse teachers score higher on evaluations from students based solely on their appearance.  I’ve asked my students why they scored me lower than other teachers.  Their most common response is, “Teacher, because you are ugly.”

It’s also hard for me to make friends at work with female co-workers because of my appearance.  Trust me, I consider myself very charming, witty, funny, and spontaneous.  However, they don’t like me because of my appearance.  My other two male co-workers have lesser personalities (they are good guys, I’m just humbly submitting I’m better at talking to people) but are very attractive.  Therefore, they get invited to do things by other teachers and are treated much better.  My school has pretty much let me know that they are ready for me to leave so they can bring in another teacher who “looks different.”

I just want to make it clear to the world that there is no physical advantage of being a white man.  Our hairlines are more likely to recede; we don’t create the appearance of diversity in the workforce; our skin wrinkles faster; it’s harder for us to be dark thus negating the tall, dark, and handsome moniker; and the world is evolving into a global community where being white represents a static past instead of a fluid future.

Simply not true.

So, what’s my point?  It’s not to complain or to give you the impression of low self esteem.  I’m currently talking to a pretty hot American who I completely adore.  Better yet, she will watch sci-fi with me and reads my blog.  She’s not scared that I think spaceships are sexy.  I’m completely satisfied with my dating life and I don’t believe for a second I am ugly.   However,  I can also accept that my skin possesses no magical, enchanting powers on women in Asia.  Therefore, let me conclude with two messages.

To my Asian friends, don’t look at girls with white guys and use your skin color as an excuse for not getting what you want.  Instead, focus on being interesting and looking the best you possibly can.  Furthermore, if you are Asian you are already blessed with better hair, a more symmetrical face and fashion sense than white guys.   Most foreign girls (or at least half) eventually become attracted to you once they adjust to living in Asia.  However, the ones who aren’t attracted to you generally attribute it to how skinny you are and your lack of aggression.  These are the only areas where you should be more like white guys and start building some muscle in the gym and start approaching more women.  You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

Finally, this is to the white guys thinking about teaching overseas or working overseas because you think your whiteness in Asia will remedy the drought of women in your life.  In actuality,  cross-culture relationships with a language barrier are far more difficult to maintain.  Also, Korean girls are kind of a pain in the @$$ to date.  If you are not doing well with ladies in America, you will not do any better with ladies here because of the color of your skin.  The Asian women chase the attractive white guys just like the American women back home.  Plus, coming to a foreign country to pick up girls is an awful excuse for travel or existence.  Develop a personality, interests, matching clothes, and hit the gym to look the best you possibly can.  Those things will make you more attractive.  Jumping the Pacific Ocean (or waving your limited edition Harry Potter [Or Gandolff] wand) will not improve your chances.  If you’re ugly, it’s not a secret Asian women are unaware of.  You can’t hide your face.

I hope this clears up any confusion about being an average white guy.  If you have any questions about being white, don’t hesitate to contact me.  The reality is not as glorious as the illusion.  However, I fully intend to become the stereotypical rich white man so if I don’t respond just understand I am busy.  And trust me; if I do become rich, it has nothing to do with what I look like and everything to do with the changes I am making in my own life.

Further Research on this Topic

The Adventures of Charisma Man– A comic strip that supposedly shows the transformative power of being white in Japan.

Mapping World – How bias in the US blocks girls from realizing Asian men are deadly handsome. 

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171 thoughts on “The Myth of White Guys and Asian Girls

  1. This is funny and honest a the same time 🙂 Point well taken! I wonder if your co-workers and students know about this blog of yours, haha! And in defense to your students, may be they think it’s funny to say that, maybe they thought it’s harmless? or that they want to say something witty in Korean but couldn’t find the exact English translation so opt for ‘ugly’ instead? oh well, anyways they’re just kids.


  2. haha.. errm.. I dun see many japanese or korean ladies with white guys tho.. its actually more towards the Philippinos, Vietnamese, Burmese, South east asians ladies marrying the white guys.. maybe they speak better English than the other Asians? I dunno.. im just looking at the majority of multi-racial marriages in Australia.. Im an Asian myself and I still prefered being married to an Asian :op


    1. When you see it, it stands out more than two Asian couples who are together so you notice it more. Plus, even when you see it it’s not because the dude is white. Maybe he’s handsome, rich, Otha’s a good personality.


  3. I have the same opinion as you on this topic. I find that in korea (and similarly in japan since I have visited there twice), women take a second look at me, or are startled by me only because I am different. Just because I’m white, doesn’t make them more attracted to me. In fact, when I’ve tried talking to women on the street or in stores, they want nothing to do with me. That’s partly because I don’t look like Brad Pitt, and the other part because they don’t want to/can’t speak English (there’s also the Confucian “don’t talk to strangers” thing going on). There are many exceptions to this, there have been a few rare times where I was approached by (young) women or students who want to meet me, or the group of girls who build up the courage to yell “you hen-some!” to me. So, I’m still looking to hook up with Korean or Japanese girls who want to ONLY because I’m white. Where are they?????


  4. It’s my third comment on your blog (in a row) and I’m really enjoying reading you blog. You are very witty. 🙂
    I’d like to speak on the side of being an Asian woman. And I’d say that most Asians (or the whole world?) want to be “white.” But in Korea, Taiwan, China and Japan (that’s like Northern region of Asia) they love their own fair complexion and have high tendencies to be attracted to their own kin. And they love to keep their traditions (no culture and language boundaries). So Korean women want to marry a Korean guy (or maybe sometimes Chinese or Japanese). So the ‘White guy’ magic applies only to those who are from the brown skin descent. Especially in my country (Philippines), most people favor Caucasians for their height, tall defined nose and fair pinkish skin in contrast to our native features (The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence). And that applies both to men and women. I admit to the fact that I share the same views but have come to love my flat nose and brown skin. 🙂 And oh, here in my country they also developed a myth that they could have beautiful children when married to ‘whites’ which is most of the time true.
    And by the way, I don’t think you are ugly and your personality is definitely an asset . 🙂


    1. That’s very insightful, I from what I experienced I agree with you. I was treated wonderfully by women in the Philippines. They thought I was Jason Mraz. Luckily my personality works on American girls so I’m ok. But I have do have a weakness for Filipinas, they are lovely and beautiful people.


      1. I think women from south east asia ( Thailand, Philippines, Indonesia, Vietnam etc) often like white men because our skincolor). North asians (chinese, koreans, japanese) love white men if they have “white fever”, and that is the same phenomen if white women like to have sex with black males. South aest asian women can a white man get even he is shy and he is a loser in his own country and cant get a white woman.


  5. At the risk of sounding racist, I’m just going to say here that its GREAT to be white. Oh my god it is great, think of all the advantages you have just because of your skin color. Imagine just for a second if you were identical in every single was shape or form but you were brown or worse (as far as Korea is concerned) black! I would be willing to bet you school might FIRE you (if they’d even hire you) instead of hinting that they want to replace you. Its unfair but its a status symbol, especially here. Have you seen the way that your students treat the other students that are a little darker? I have a student that is as dark as i get in the summer (ie Italian olive) and the kids call him Obama!!!
    Its reminds me of a Louis CK quote: “I’m not saying that white people are better. I’m saying that being white is clearly better. Who could even argue. If it was an option I would re-up every year, oh ya, I’ll take white again absolutely. I’ve been enjoying that, I’ll stick with the white, thank you.”


      1. Jeez Brentski, idiot comes off a little harsh don’t you think? Sorry if after reading the entirety of and commenting on your article, I was left with a certain impression. Just like my opinion bro! A lot of your article is peppered with self defamation, about whites (most citing yourself as an example) not being able to totally rake in the babes, which might give one the notion that some might lamenting being white. That’s all I was commenting on, if you can acknowledge one aspect of a race, I don’t see why it’s “idiotic” to talk about another aspect. It’s all good though, since you got that hot American you’ve been talking to, glad to see someone takes his own advice by not listening those haters who might comment about your big face, or hairline, or age, or general lack of appearance, or well any of the myriad of self criticisms you’ve saturated your article/entire blog with. Personality is great asset to have, and I have no doubt your abilities bro, definitely saw a bit of the old Sheffy charm on me!


        1. Self defemation is funny. This article is not lamenting being white, it just states if you are white that does not mean you look like Ben Affleck and it certainly does not provide any advantages for dating asian women. Your rant about me possibly being fired if I was black sounded foolish. It’s just my opinion bro. On the other hand, nice photography on your blog. I dig it! And, do I know you?


          1. I disagree, as I described in my experience in Korea in your article ‘being single in Korea’ (Hitler’s definition of handsome 😉 ) that being white here certainly has boosted my apparent attraction from Koreans that I don’t normally receive back home. Back home I get attention but not to the exaggerated extent as here. And as my K girl friend attests is due to me looking like a foreign model or Hollywood actor. Model looks or not, the fact is, in Korea my white looks definitely benefit me here more than back home where I could be seen as ‘just a pleasant looking guy, nothing too special” but here ‘I’m approached smiled at followed, as if I’m a big deal (like a celeb). I guess what I’m saying if you’re not ugly, being white benefits your attractiveness in the eyes of Koreans.

            Just last week on Thursday, a Korean GUY in the gym changing rooms, came up, touched me (held on to my arm) and said ‘wow, so handsome, beautiful body, how old are you? Can we be friends? Do you have number’? I’m fairly sure he wasn’t gay but as you’d know, Koreans are so impressed or obsessed with physical appearance and open about it (without harboring homosexual tendencies).

            That would never, ever happen back in my country!!! Because frankly I’m not that special but in Korea, being European makes me special so any attractive aspect seems to be amplified as a result of this.


      2. Well I’m not here to state whether you are ugly or not but to add science into the mix. It has been scientifically proven that we more often than not end up with mates that are close to our level of attractiveness. This allows for procreation. So your point is well taken and true of all races. We are preprogramed to choice mates that fall in the same physical category.


      3. Just means there is a greater chance asian women will like you. I’ve hung out with my korean friends (I’m black), and we’ve seen how asian girls will ignore a friendly, buff and ripped asian dude for a chubby, awkward white guy making ignorant, racist-sounding statements and confusing the different asian cultures. “Hey girl, (loudly, so you know he’s trying to make a pun) DIM SUM nice legs. Do you work out? You look like you know Karate or sumthin’.” (the girl was Thai). Seriously, dude looked like you typical anime and ramen-scarfing basement dweller. They go for that retarded crap over someone from a similar background. I don’t know what their beef is with asian guys besides a lot of the girls say FOB asian men are sexist, but to be with someone so offensively ignorant would seem to hurt more, in my opinion. And on top of that THESE guys are third-4rth generation asian americans, so the fob thing doesn’t hold water. What these girls are settling for is like me going out with a caucasian girl and having her think I know everything about or even CARE about hip-hop culture, just because like the people in that culture, I’m black, or just being wanted BECAUSE I’M black. That’s just being objectified, like you’re not a person, but a thing. I’d be highly offended, I don’t care HOW much sex and money was thrown my way.


        1. I’m not really into Korean girls so I don’t care. I have no problem with western girls, and girls from Japan seem interested. All I was saying is Korean girls aren’t attracted to my features – not that I have low self esteem or project loser vibes. Trust me, I’m a bit of an asshole and kind of conceited.


  6. Brent,
    I read your entire article. I understand what you are saying, but I have to disagree. It might be different in Korea, but in America, white is a huge asset with Asian girls. When I met my wife on Match.com, I can’t tell you how many Asian women would state that they only want to date white guys. Some put that they will date any ethnicity, but Asian. Time magazine had an article that stated that 98% of white women would not date Asian men on online dating sites. They did not even poll Asian women, but I would guess that the percentage is around 75%.
    My son is in kindergarten now, and we see a lot of hapa–half-asian/half-white–kids. After meeting the parents, I estimate that over 80% of these kids have white dads and asian moms.
    I’m glad that you don’t have problems in the dating department, and I agree that personality is the most important characteristic in the long run, but one person’s experience does not over-rule huge statistical discrepancies.
    I love that you wrote this post and allowed for a discussion. I look forward to conversing with you on our blogs.


    1. Kozo- Thanks for the thoughtful response. My point of view is definitely coming from Asian girls in Korea. I could also tell you that Asian girls in the Philippines love white guys. However, these are two very different cultures with the Philippines being more similar to America. So, we have to be careful when we say Asian women. I’m mainly referring to Chinese, Korean, and Japanese women.

      In that regard, you mentioned I favored personal experiences over large numerical discrepancies. However, all you cited was personal experiences. I wouldn’t put much stock into what people put on match.com, but what you did quote at 98% was western women not liking Asian Men- which is not what we are discussing. Your 75% statistic was something you made up based on your feelings. Most of the women in Korea, China, and Japan want to stay married within their culture. That is the truth and that is what generally happens. If they do have a western fling, they go after the hot guys, not just any white guy. Again, girls like attractive men. They don’t just like men because they are white.


      1. Good point, Brent. I agree that both of us are using a lot of personal experience in our arguments.
        I also agree that things are different depending on which country you visit. Considering that Korea has the most plastic surgery operations, it is safe to say that they are pretty looks oriented. My wife brought up another good point about class. Many women in these countries will not give you the time of day if you don’t look like you have a lot of money. Teachers like us get the short end of the stick there. Sad, but true.
        I enjoy the conversation and look forward to more.


    2. Really? I live in Chicago (quite a large Asian community) and I can assure you most Asian Americans here actually prefer Asians. I’m guessing you must live in Hawaii. They have ALOT of hapas there.


    3. A closet racist against asians — bashing asian men and making look bad while trying to promote your garbage white supremacy garbage all because asiaphile rejects like you want asian women as a china doll


  7. I honestly think the whole “Asian girls only date white guys” and how being white makes you an Asian chick magnet are OVEREXAGERATED. i don’t know how it is in Asia here in the U.S. for the most part, there is still a large amounts of discrimination among the two groups than there is any concentrual love. When i was in college (I went to UChicago), practically all the white college students didn’t really associate themselves with the Asian international students, let alone Asian girls. In fact many of them reasoned their disconnection with the Asian community was due to cultural differences.

    There was one time during our colleg playoff season, 2 guys were making fun of an Asian girl on the bleachers calling her “ch—” and laughed. No one did anything. One of my Asian friend (she was Korean) was also made fun of because of her foriegn name. She moved back to Korea about a year stay here. It’s really sad.

    I’m an Asian-American female of Chinese descent myself and I can tell you that there are more bullying of the Asian minorities in this country than there are actually relationships made. I’m not trying to hate or anything but I’m just sick and tired of people making a huge deal out of “Asian girls only date white guys” its seriously overblown.


  8. I honestly think the whole “Asian girls like white guys” and “White guys like Asian girls” are OVEREXAGERRATED -seriously. I don’t know about Asia but over here in the U.S, for the most part, there is still more discriminations and bullying between to two ethnic groups than there are concentual relationships. When I was in college (i went to UChicago), most of the white students never really associated themselves or talk to the Asian international student, let alone Asian girls. Their reason for the behavior was due to cultural differences –as they say.

    There was also this one time during our college playoff season, a group of white guys called this one Asian girl who sat on the bleachers a “ch—” then laughed. No one did anything about it. One of my Asian friend (she was from Korea) was made fun of because of her unusual foreign name.

    I am a female Asian American (Chinese descent) i was also bullied by white students while I was growing up here. So the whole “White guys like Asian girls’ is a complete joke. And also “Danny Chen” who was physically and verbally abused by his superiors who singled him out for being Chinese-American can also be counted as bullying done on the Asian Americans in this country.

    I am not trying to hate or anything. But i’m just speaking about the facts that most white Americans especially in the Midwest are still ignorant of Asian citizens in this country. So the whole White guys like Asian girls is pretty much a myth in my experience.


    1. Wow, sorry to hear that. That went beyond the myth of dating into sheer hate. I do think a lot of white guys like Asian girls- some because they find asian women attractive, some because they think Asian women are submissive, and some like Asian women for the right reasons. I don’t think Asian girls like white guys because they are white. Anyways, I’m sorry to hear about your experiences but I’m happy you shared. I’m shocked because Chicago is a geeky progressive city.


  9. uhauahuahuauahu!!the cartoon was veru funny! the canadian guys was like a loser in Canada, but in Asian he is the king! Well guys, I’m brazilians and I can tell you that is Brazil things are pretty similar for you guys. If a american or canadian loser who cannot pick up a hot blond, just come to Brazil and you can pick up a very very very very hot brazilian girl much better than any american or canadia girl. How to get a hot brazilian girl? Just be canandian or american. Good, hum? I can tell you guys that brazilians woman are much more woman than any canadian or american girl. After the experince in Brazil you guys will never have look to an asian flat ass again.

    Just take a look in the girls that we hava heve here (“big” girls and not small flat girls for losers with no testesterone):



  10. I’m a student in Korea.
    You won’t know how betrayed I felt when I saw your picture.
    After reading this essay, I was pretty sure that you must be like Bellick, the guy appeared in Prison Break.
    ( No offense to Bellick)
    But actually you look like Rick of Walking Dead!!!

    못생겼다 which means “ugly” in English is sometimes used to get funny with someone with no harm
    And We don’t use that word to a person who is truely ugly.
    So You don’t need to regard this seriously

    Your writing is so funny,
    and I wish there is a teacher like you in my own school!

    p.s. I am not very good at English
    Actually this is the first commenet I write in English
    If there are errors, please let me knowㅠㅠ
    Thank you for witty writing!


    1. I’m ecstatic to have a Korean reader! Also, I wish you were my student. Some Koreans take tests well and others understand English grammar better than myself; however, very few can effectively communicate with foreigners. I thought your responses were expressed clearly and brilliantly.
      I appreciate your response and I will listen for 못생겼다 in the future. Thank you so much for visiting my blog! Keep in touch!


  11. Chinese womens prefer to foreign mans because of so many reasons like, handsome, polite, romantics, well sexual activity, adventure, happiness, hope, if get marry can birth many baby and go another countries to live, not need spend all life for nonsense things (buy home or car by credits ) not need all life work like clerk, babies can speak at least 2 mother language, no need to parents pressure on all life, freedom, better life with better invoirement, such likes many reasons of these.COME ON CHİNESE WOMEN WAKE UPPP…


    1. ‘handsome, polite, romantics, well sexual activity, adventure, happiness, hope’ — yes of course it all makes sense now because only foreign men have these attributes right?. And obviously foreigners never pay forhomes or cars by credit card (who buys a home and car with credit card anyway???) No but seriously — you’re an idiot. Where you from? The land of jackass?


  12. Sure, there are a lot of different things important to attraction and in a relation. And of course not all people of a country would like only one typ of person… BUT I have the feeling, that in certain groups there is a kind of common preferred type. And I don’t know about Korea but in Japan… girl students at universities with exchange programs or studying languages (not that many, so you could never say that for all women.. definetly not!)….. from my 4 years of observations I think they have a common type.. and it’s foreign… doesn’t matter from where, doesn’t have to be white! And definetly they don’t have to be beautiful by their countries standarts… I studied at a japanese university with a very high percentage of foreign exchange students and often I couldn’t stop wondering about the girls and the boys… really beautiful foreign girls in search for a japanese boyfriend never got one… guys, from average looking to chubby, half-bald, black nailpolish walked around with the best looking japanese girls I have known at that school… Ofcourse it’s my personal opinion, but from my japanese university friends (girls) most had a foreign boyfriend or wanted one. And everytime the same thing happened… as I was raised in europe I was always asked to judge weather or not they looked good… what should one do when your good friend thinks her new very average looking boyfriend looks like an actor … but after all looks don’t matter all that much in a relationship : ) even if they maybe caused the first attraction.
    Most grow up I guess… so for most of this small group the preference only last for university times : )


  13. Trying to figure out a culture of women in a foreign country is harder than algebraic topology. There is no one answer or successful approach to understanding this area. Who really understands women from any country? Men and women are as different as night and day. If they were not so attractive and cause our primitive brain to go haywire, it would be a miracle that children are born at all!!
    Simply put, scoring “babes” like Brad Pitt is not an option here. However, there are “loose” women in every foreigner bar that could care less for culture or family. Generally, the family roots are very deep. Generally, foreigners do not understand Korean culture and that can cause deep division in your personal relationship and her family relationship. The factor of understanding is exponentially more difficult with an Eastern culture (most did not learn about it in school or experience it in our neighborhood) Even in American, Asian people congregate in their own neighborhoods.
    So, if you are really attracted and want to find a beautiful and humble Asian women to share the grace of life, it is possible, but rarer than what you may have heard through the grapevine. The longer you live here, the clearer this will become to you. Enjoy your life, take things easy, travel a little bit., expand your mind, and let your life be filled with wisdom. Understanding women is the most frustrating subject in the world, bar none. Ask your Grandfather 🙂


  14. “a more symmetrical face”? Where do you get that. You were grasping at straws already with the bit about better hair. Only some skank wants some “aggressive” guy.


  15. Hi dude, I’m a black hispanic male (not half black, half hispanic) I’m afro-colombian to be exact, first, forgive my english level in case you notice some error here, second, I find your reading really interesting because I’m one of those who believe that asian women are really attracted to white men, and I’m not saying this for your particular case, but for the
    facility that white men have getting asian girls compared with non white males, in fact in the US the numbers of asian women dating white males surpasses the number of those who date men of their own kind. I don’t want to make controversy but the idea of “white is better” remains in force, and asians have that thing really deep in their minds, not only for physical attributes but also for money, education……in other words, opportunities, physical is not everything, but it plays a very important role, take a handsome white man compared with a handsome non-white male and the white guy will have more points. Judging by the photo on your profile, I think you have high possibilities getting asian women in asia, america or europe, maybe your seduction tactics are not working, in that regard don’t forget that women are different depending the culture, just take your time in analyzing the situation and their behaviour. The guy who wrote about online dating and asian women is right, many asian women are present in online dating sites and most of them put white men as the first choice to date, so I don’t know, I think your experience serves as an exception, but being white is clearly more beneficial, I think asian women are really attracted by almost natural reasons to white males


  16. I’ve dated just about every other ethnic as far as women go, but, I have a bad imagine of Asian women.

    For one, I never really grew up around many Asians (even though I’ve moved around the USA). My brother married a Korean woman, they had a son and divorced later on (his fault). I was closer with her younger brothers, they would endlessly talk shit about Asian women like they were all whores looking for a free ride. They would even beg me to set them up with white girls in exchange they would set me up with an Asian woman. That never happened.

    For the past 20 years I’ve studied several forms of martial arts so I’ve always had an interest in the cultures, and of course always had an interest in dating an Asian woman. Had nothing to do with some kind of crazy “Yellow Fever” BS. Asian women, like any other group of women have their unique style of sexiness.. it never was a ‘need’ to date them for me. I also like the shy type of girl which is very hard to find anymore.

    Through the years though, I’ve befriended many Asian guys.. they would always tell me this crap about the women and how they are this, that, etc.. how I would have to support them and their families while they use me and many other white foreign guys; I thought eventually something had to be going on here. My ex sister in law was a more modern Korean and she was super nice, imported foods and cooked them for us (I’ll never forget the candy where you eat the wrapper too).

    So I ended up going to college, and what do you know.. Ohio State seems to have a pretty wide variety of Asian students. So i met a bunch of new guys, a few were Asian, and yet again we’d hear all these stories about Asian women being whores, don’t know how to love, materialistic, etc. Wth! But later on I ended up meeting these girls through them while hanging out. Most of them were extreme wiry, bitchy chicks. I mean, very immature brats! Others were too focused on school, nothing else in life mattered as it seemed. The only one out of the bunch that was friendly was in a serious relationship (white guy).

    So, later on.. like years, I decided I wanted to go to Thailand since I’ve studied Muay Boran boxing for many years. I get online to check it out and start coming across these review websites. Well I guess after reading several of those, I yet again see many guys from all over the world going to Thailand to have sex with Asian women. I mean, I read so many horror stories, it was nuts! It went from Thailand to other parts of Asia like the Philippines, South Korea, parts of China, etc.. where all these guys were going to bang these chicks in exchange for support or possibly a free ride out of the country. I know we have prostitutes here in the US, but nothing like what I was reading or hearing.

    Now I’ve been running into forums and blogs about how Asian women are all superficial whores and white guys who are attracted to any woman of the Asian decent are all “crazy weirdo’s with Yellow Fever.” Most of these sites are fueled by pissed off Asian guys who like to keep their women oppressed while they run around asking “do white women like Asian guys?” But damn if an Asian woman likes anything other than “her kind.” And damn those white guys who just want to use Asian women for sex, beat them up, kill them, take them away from their kind. It’s almost like what has happened here in the US with them enforcing “white guilt” on Caucasians for the slavery that none of us today had anything to do with – the Asian men seem to be using this same type of guilt on their women who want to be open minded and have choices — you date anything other than our kind and you are a traitor!

    In the end of it all, it seems that Asian women are put in a position to believe certain things just as non-Asian men are put in the same position to believe all Asian women are a certain way. Now when I’m out, even if I’m attracted to an Asian woman.. I don’t bother. How do I know if she feels I’m some creepy white guy with Yellow Fever? How do I know that if she dates white guys that she’s not whoring around with a bunch of them like I’ve heard so many times?

    This whole Asian woman/White guy is too much of a pain in the ass for me. They can have their culture and their men. I’ve never seen any other ethnic group create such a huge headache out of “dating.”


    1. If you replaced asian women with white women, asian men with white men, and white men with black men — you would see that you guys aren’t exactly so complacent and innocent victims as you point yourself out to be


  17. I think you have a lot of really good points. I am white (Russian ) in my mid 20s and unfortunately never dated or been with a white girl, they all been asian, mostly Korean. After all this I came to a conclusion that if you want to date am asian girl and a hot one you need a few things. First you can’t be fat, skinny or slim is better then buff for most Koreans. Another thing is you must have confidence, I don’t mean stalker confidence, if you don’t have the ability to hold your ground you are fighting a losing battle. Basically you need to learn how to be rude with respect. I am an avarage guy and never had a girl call me ugly, had them ask me to leave but I always comeback with a smart remark like I just wanted to buy you a drink or just wanted some one to talk to. There have been a few times I had to be a full asshole but they deserved it. Most Koreans will judge you before you even say a word so the idea is to play there game and win. You can trow off there judgment by doing things that they do not expect. Here is a great ice braker, if you are in a bar never approach them. Find a small group two to three girls and ask the waitress to get them a drink they just had and put it on your tab. Don’t look at them, they will come to you and start the conversation. First off they are in a group and think its ok, second they will think you are sweet and not trying to come on to them. If the conversation goes well then you can ask them what they are doing later. Expect to sing if they are going out, keep your soju to a bottle maximum and don’t mix with hard liquor. Don’t ask any thing super personal keep it a get to know you conversation. Another thing I would not let your students walk over you like that, you are the teacher so take control. Other things to mention if you go out dress to impress. Suit or dress shirt works well do not wear a tie. Jeans are a no no unless you are wearing $200+. Koreans know fashion so anything nice goes a long way.


    1. Alex, thanks for the response. My current school is much better. You can only take control if you have the means to take control. At my former hagwon there were no disciplinary measures for students. Taking control of a class is risky when students evaluate you.


  18. I think that while being hollywood handsome might get you more looks from women in any country, there is more to it than that. Some men simply have an air about them that attracts women. Over a lifetime of observation, I am convinced that this is of a psychic nature. We have all known men who are physically unattractive, who are chick magnets. This has little to do with their looks. It is something that they have that projects outward from them. Call it charisma or what have you. If you have this, you will attract women, if you don’t have this you won’t. Nature is cruel.


  19. Just passing by… Fyi, I am Korean American currently in US and I think you are cute 😉
    Your blog is interesting in that there are many Korean girls both in and out of Korea being accused of having ‘white fever’ by their male counterparts… And called by the derogatory term 양공주


  20. Cool honest blog. I never had problems dating good looking girls in my home country. In my late teens early 20s I was considered very good looking. However, in Korea, despite being lucky with asian girls in usa and uk it was quite the opposite. Im average height, slightly overweight, usually have a face full of stubble so was never popular in Korea. In TW and JP I was.
    In Korea, most girls prefer Korean guys who tend to be well dressed, clean shaven, tall, muscular. When it comes to white guys, the most popular in the ROK are tall, clean shaven guys, with large noses. Many of them would not be considered good looking at home. Beauty standards are very different east/west.


  21. Cheers Brent.

    Going off subject a bit, but my blog I mentions how Korean’s, especially the men reacted when I was with a cute Korean “young looking” girl last summer.

    It’s a snapshot blog of how I felt towards the end of the year, and was made to give an insight for those contemplating teaching in the ROK or relatively new to the country.

    Enjoy! and your comments would be appreciated.



  22. I taught for a year in Korea, and I think students just can tend to be mean. I found that some students thought I was very attractive, and others thought I was hideous. Some thought I was a good teacher one day, and the next day hated me as a teacher. Once I had a whole class of students tell me they hated me, and I said fine I will switch classes with a different teacher (Who happened to be more strict than me). One week in and they were begging me to switch back. Kids are just mean. period.

    But Korea is definitely VERY physically-oriented, I did notice that as well. I am surprised though that you didn’t get ladies “hitting on you” while you were in Korea for being white though. I probably had the opposite experience of you while in Korea, I noticed quite a few couples getting married- white male english teacher with a korean wife. One thing I noticed in common with every single one of these couples…the men were always very unattractive and the women were very attractive. The men I’m thinking of had virtually no hair… asymmetrical appearance… horrible fashion, sometimes overweight, etc. Yet they managed to land Korean women. That always stunned me. I was under the impression that American men who couldn’t find a wife in America would just come to Korea to find one more easily! haha.

    Generally-speaking, I also found that Koreans outside of the school were more mesmerized by white people than the school itself. Maybe the students/directors get used to the teachers, critically discover all the flaws, and hope for “Even better” next time.

    When I would have a walk around I would have Koreans come up to me (young and old) and want to touch my hair, skin, tell me I’m beautiful, etc. But in the classroom I was called every insult under the sun.


  23. How terribly rude of the students. Sorry that you had to deal with those little bastards. I am part Korean and it’s embarrassing how blunt Koreans are sometimes.
    Korean women won’t pay attention to you just because you are white. Plus there is a stigma against marrying a non-Korean, and if you’re a Korean lady with a white guy you’re considered a skanky ho. If the white guy is good looking (in Korean standards), wealthy, can offer a green card, or any of the combination then yes he has a chance. Asian women who marry out are often desperate women from poorer countries. Korea and Japan used to be like that, but not anymore. Hence the reason why the white fever isn’t common in the wealthier Asian nations anymore.


    1. David- Great comments – I totally agree. Don’t worry though, I switched to a public school and the students are amazing. You can get bad students in any country, it’s just the luck of the draw!


  24. Coming late to this post, you couldn’t hit the nail on the head better than anyone else.
    Coming from the “Caucasian” perspective, it’s basically laying one more brick of foundation for stop spreading mis-information about White guy and Asian girl.

    but for what it’s worth,

    Here in US, american born asian girls are more likely to get out of Asian boundary and would likely to hook up with White Guys. It’s not to say all American Born Asian girls choose to do that. But a fair amount of ABA girls have such an out-of-touch ancestral heritage, and immersed in western culture, they tend to see White guys as more compatible guys for their lives rather than looking at American Born Asian guys twice.

    Then again, since you’ve been to Korea, and Japan, it’s even more confusing when talking about “Asians”. There are many ethnicities under the category of “Asians”. Only Chinese can differentiate Chineses from Koreans, Japanese (exception still) and all others. A fair amount of Caucasians can’t even tell the difference between Chinese, Korean and Japanese, let alone chinese people from origin of Xi’an, Guangdong, Fujian, …

    The impression from there is most of the Asians who would like to hook up with White guys in US tend to be from Vietnam, Philippines, Burma, (Mainly South East Asia). You won’t be able to differentiate Vietnamese girls with fair complexion from Chinese girl for example. They’re like really fair. Having a certain fetish or whatever preference they have on White guys is another topic.

    But coming back to the current one, there’s a belief that “everything happens in US, happens everywhere in the World” attitude, commonly found in mis-informed public audiences with Fox news, self-taught Glenn Beck, and such. If Asians in US digs on White guys, it must be true that Asians in Asia would dig on White guys too.

    Of course there are Asian Chinese/Korean/Japanese girls who go out with White guys and get married. But they tend to be in more stable income state and be ready for tying knots further whereas majority of those Asians from South East Asia are mostly likely to hook up with White guys just to get a plane ticket to US. With such a mixture of “Asians”, and without a definitive picture of which “Asians” are we talking about, it comes to the point where those ignorant, arrogant “White” guys think they can get away with Asian girls easily (Not sure of which Asians they’re talking about here too.).

    I have yet to find an attractive White guy and a pretty Chinese/Korean/Japanese girl couple. For all I’ve seen in US, majority of those couples fall in homely-looking girl and below average looking White guys. Apparently, those White guys can’t differentiate beautiful Chinese girls from average looking girls.

    And for a guy who had commented long times ago with Louis CK stand-up comedian comment like “I’ll take White once again if I were to be reborn.” But you conveniently forgot to mention what CK said. Basically he said “If we go back times, I will choose White and be the king in society. But I know for sure that we will be paying back big time in the future for all whatever we’ve done to the society.”

    So if you still want to be “White”, be it. That’s your choice. But don’t get ignorant and arrogant. Otherwise, you’ll be polishing up the basketball court while “Black” players are throwing towels at you OR
    You will be a mischievous warden in hospitals where your job is to pick up trashes while Orientals are dominating the medical jobs.

    Let’s be real. “White” skin is just a nominal figure of expression. Look at Caucasian skin, they become copper or bronze tinged complexion as they grow old. Northern Chinese/Korean/Japanese are more “Whiter” than their counterpart Caucasian “White” skin.

    So coming back to CK comment of “paying big time”. Yes that is coming. It’s sooner or later.


  25. Not sure if anyone from Canada has chimed in here at all so I fugured I would do so!
    For those who dont know Vancouver, British Columbia Canada is a bit of a melting pot for asian races. Specifically Cantonese (Guandong province, HK) and Mainland/Mandarin speaking chinese. However up until recently, the chinese population in Vancouver has been overwelmingly Cantonese speaking.

    I am a born and raised Caucasian male, early 30’s, and at this point in my life i’m quite an established professional business man. I come from a very humble beginning, My parents have been farmers & loggers for generations.

    I moved to Vancouver about 8 years ago, in search of a better life for myself, and with a serious drive & passion for technology and IT.

    I met my (now) wife at one of my retail stores (when I was just a lowly retail sales staff) and have been with her now for 5 years. Married for 2. She is a down right, knock-out CBC (Canadian born Chinese) girl. I’m very proud to say!

    Me? …well, i’m average. Now, ive got receeding hair, average height “5’10 and average weight, not skinny-thats for sure!

    What im trying to say is that, In my time in Vancouver for 8 years, up until I met my wife (who was abnormally assertive!!) Asian girls rarely paid any attention to me at all, as least not in a flirtacious way or that would be percieved as courtship. Remember this is a city where the majority of females are NOW of chinese decent. IF I were to put a rough figure on it, I would say 40% of ALL females single, in Vancouver, over 16, are Chinese.

    Not sure what its worth, but speaking from one “average white guy” to another, I dont see the stigma here either…. The vast overwhelming majority of “couples” here are in fact, asian/asian couples. AS someone pointed out earlier, I believe we just happen to notice the mixed-race couples because they are in fact, noticeable.


  26. Gotta say you’re on to something there especially about that who outward appearance. I like to dress nice and I had a great time over there , got hit on a lot!! I found living in Japan and Korea quite nice as much as I do here in Texas. You post was great!!


  27. Having lived in Japan myself, and having a Taiwanese girlfriend now, I would say that girls from at least those two countries put more weight on men who are handsome and tall, do well in school, have a good job, as compared to funny, charming, athletic, “popular”, “macho”, or muscular, which I would say is more highly regarded in the west, and the middle east at least. I would say that I am reasonably handsome, but I’m a little shy, tall and thin, an engineer, not really interested in traditionally manly things, and although I have liked lots of girls from many races, I had a lot more success with Asian girls, even when I wasn’t living there. I think it’s just that I’m closer to their ideal than to the ideal of western girls, I don’t really think it’s about being white. I do think certain guys from the west similar to me would be more popular there, and there may even be some from there who are more what western girls are looking for and would be more popular here.


  28. “Most foreign girls (or at least half) eventually become attracted to you once they adjust to living in Asia. ***However, the ones who aren’t attracted to you generally attribute it to how skinny you are and your lack of aggression. *** These are the only areas where you should be more like white guys and start building some muscle in the gym and start approaching more women. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.:

    HAHAHAHA! soo true, I say this all the time! I cant be thicker than you and more manly. no no no. THANK YOU for saying this lol


  29. Pretty decent and well-written essay about this topic. I am a born-and-raised-in-Korea Asian girl currently living in Canada and have had a couple relationships with ‘white’ guys and I occasionally had to hear some of those ideas such as ‘Asian girls do dig white guys because of their skin color/body size/better status/green card/etc’ , ‘white(or foreign) guys prefer Asian girls because they are skinnier/more feminine/(considered) passive/etc.’… I have to admit that there ARE some Asian girls intentionally chasing white guys ONLY even if they could choose other non-white guys with same conditions and vice versa, however, those are not enough to stereotype the entire thing. The rare race in any societies(like white people in Asian countries) will be considered ‘exotic’ therefore they might have more attention for that, but when it comes to the real game, rules are the same..period. Very nice to read an interesting post and mature,respectful replies!

    + I don’t know how you look in person, don’t know your height and such, but Judging by your profile picture…I don’t think you are ‘ugly’ by both Asian standards and Western standards.(correct me if I’m wrong, folks from western side lol)
    Anyways, sorry for the mean students of yours,didn’t know they got more cruel these days -.-;;


  30. One of the worst things for a guy is to be shy and quiet. It doesn’t matter what country the women are from, they all pretty much wait for the guy. I never really thought of myself as anything special, but in my mid-twenties I realized that a lot of the women who were hanging around me were probably interested in me.


  31. lol. Imagine being a non-white/asian male interacting with Asian/Asian American females in either Asia or the US. You’re basically an imposition on the girls just by walking/looking in the same direction or existing. As a brownskinned Latino, I constantly get scowled at by Korean American girls for having the gall to accidentally make eye contact or be walking in the direction they’re coming from. The faces appear like I killed their mom or something despite me not trying to stare or gaze.


  32. Brent, is it same situation for Caucasian guys when trying to find Korean girls, chinese girls and Japanese girls?, . . . . .I’m Caucasian and I’m very much interested to Asian girls than white girls.


  33. Just passed by here as well! I am a foreign women and I do think most korean women are interested in a foreign man (or a white man). But I think they have the same standards for foreigners as for koreans at times. I read in another article (I can’t seem to find it right now) that you think foreign women are luckier than foreign men when dating koreans? I beg the differ! Most korean men wouldn’t know what to do with an independent free minded thinking foreign woman like myself! I stay clear of the han clan, because I am very independent and I don’t want to be subdued into becoming submissive when I know I am not. ^^ I do think that most foreigner men here do date korean women, but it might have to do with more variety in that respect. I am a foreign woman living in korea (not caucasian, but fair skin and pretty cute) but most korean men do not talk to me. While most foreign men have korean girlfriends. (from what I have seen in the last year) Again maybe you are the exception to the rule, but it is hard to find expat for expat here.

    But anyhow! I really like your blog! please keep it up! very interesting topics! ~~ ciao


    1. I responded to your other post. A functional relationship may not be easier for foreign women, but Korean men are not as picky about appearances as Korean women are with foreign men. Coffee sometime???? 🙂


    2. I agree with AstridChan, but I have heard its because many Korean men don’t know how to approach us as they believe foreign women aren’t interested in them. I am a blonde, blue-eyed woman, and the Korean men who do have the guts to approach us generally want sex – they think western women are all easy and I quote “does sex like gym”. I am so tired of Korean men approaching me for this purpose – I don’t even dress provocatively and I am a really nice girl.
      I have seen TONS of white guys with Korean and Philiphino girls. And most of the guys were definitely not good-looking, but they were tall-ish. I even had a teacher who wants to date white guys, but even if he nice and attractive to her but not tall, then she feels she cannot date him. Most of these guys are not considered good-looking back home.

      For white guys trying to find a Korean girl or any girl for that matter – take care of your appearance. It means don’t dress like a rapper (with over-sized clothes), shave and use skin creams… – I think Western women also like that. As for muscles – I think that’s personal taste – I have never been concerned with muscles or skinny – as long as the guy is bigger than me than that’s what makes us happy. My co-teacher said she likes a chubby guy, but he has to be fun and funny and she is 100% Korean.

      Humour and personal care can take a guy far in this world. Pity women can’t say the same.


  34. I’m an Asian female and all i have to say is that people’s preferences vary base on their interests,exposure to a race, surrounding, and/or culture. I grew up in a town where there were no Asians at all. I’ll admit. I grew up liking white guys. Why? Because I grew up being surrounded by white people, but as I grew older and went off to college I changed. Now, I, 9/10, prefer Asian over white guys. On the other hand, my older sister, who liked only Asian guys and dated ONLY Asian guys ended up with a white guy.


  35. I’m Chinese American, 23. I grew up around other Chinese kids up until high school (my parents settled in Chinatown, NYC). In high school and college, it was pretty much equal among all the races. Most of my closest friends are Asian but I basically get along with anyone who is nice and have personality.

    I’ve read your post (great btw!) and the comments following, and there are some misconceptions I want to clear up (mainly from the comments).

    I’m so sick of hearing about how white men think they are like god to asian women. In Asia, the asian women will date the attractive white guy but they most certainly will never marry them. They basically view white men the same as how white guys view asian women: playthings. Once they get it out of their system, that’s it. But like what the above comment stated, people will be with the kind of people they grew up with. I know a few asian women (not really my friends because they tend to have low self esteem) that i grew up with, so asian community, who have white fever and that’s just because to some, having a white guy on their arm = a walking accessory. That’s it. They just want the whole world to know they can score a white dude. ….but in the end, they always end up with an asian man. My older cousin is a prime example of that. Dated a few white guys here and there and happily married to a handsome chinese detective. One of my closest friend is genuinely in a serious relationship with a white guy. They both each others first time dating outside of their race.

    I guess based on the Internet, I’m an outlier. I prefer my men yellow. I have only been in serious relationships with two Chinese and a Filipino. All others were kind of a friends with benefits (brown guys). I don’t ever see myself with a white guy, like at all. I don’t want to have to explain that in my culture, I only move out after I get married. Or that I don’t think eating chicken feet is disgusting. I think black guys, Spanish guys, white guys etc all have their fair share of attractive guys but I’m just not comfortable sexually being with one. I even told one of my closest white guy friend this, thank goodness he wasn’t offended. And we really only became friends because we were in the same medical science program together and pretty much had all the same classes.

    It really boils down to who you grew up with I guess. There’s no white skin gift or blue eye hypnosis. For the guy above who said he’s skeptical about dating asian girls because all this Internet BS, don’t be. But I won’t sugar coat that you shouldn’t be careful because a lot of them will view you as a walking white accessory. Just use your best judgement.

    And just to throw this out there (I’m sorry but I have to defend my asian men), the penis size is pretty much the same all across the board. Whether he be Arab, Indian, Guyanese, whatever. Maybe I won the lottery with my current and past boyfriends, or I completely missed out with the nonyellow guys I picked to fool around with, but this shit about small penises is just another way for other white guys to boost their self esteem.


    1. Maybe you don’t notice the difference in penis size between the races because you have had too many black lovers and they have stretched you too much.


      1. Mr. Kim – see, I know you posted that out of spite considering I never mentioned ever being with a black man. Did I say something to offend you, Roland? I was simply clarifying a stereotype I know everyone is thinking but just didn’t want to say it.


  36. I think there are a lot of white guys who are good looking and WOULD get more girls in their countries, but they don’t fit the alpha male standard that girls in Western countries are more into. In Korea (to generalize) I find that this isn’t so big of a deal, and they probably get more girls than back home. That’s probably a lot of where the stereotype comes from. Also, the Korean girls who have a preference for white guys tend to hang out in places where white guys like to go, which is pretty logical. If you’re the type of guy who only hangs out at these places, your sample set is skewed to think that all Korean girls love white guys. Just my observation.


  37. well what you have stated here mostly from your personal experience if i got it right . I m not sure how many other “whites” people POV you took or for the matter fact ask other non-white foreigner about the same maybe they would you a more insight fulness into the whole “preference to whites”.
    So you say korean girls dont hit on you, i will take your word for it , but what is missed out here take two average person one white and other non white (maybe both foreigner ) and maybe then you can get a more clear picture (I m not counting you as average ..pardon me for that. ) Just do this exercise and you would be amazed.

    In my observation been white opens a lot of gates in korea, its been my personal experience(i stay in korea for 3-6 months /year been doing so for 4 years now ). Dont believe me try getting into nightclubs in iteawon(helios)(I and my chinese friend had been denied entry a few times and once when we did make in.. you need to see the eagerness with which u get picked up if u r white ) . Im not ugly /fat by any standards sure im brown as I m Indian , I dress well too thank god there are many non korean women in such clubs).
    In suwon there are clubs (club loop) ( where only koreans and white foreigner are allowed ( the club is really good but well we are always denied at the gate , then this one time i took my russian colleague with me and it was “welcome to the club” I was wearing crocs that night :P).
    One more example there are a few cults in korea who will try to attract many white tourist/teacher ..use their photos for PR .
    one more Near suwon station and in itaewon there are clubs where they have some special events day where if ur foreigner u get free entry and korean gals pay like 20k cover just to get n meet you …

    You sir maybe a one off case but for every one of you there numerous example to show other. I shall never seen a white guy been shot down just for dance n talking …most get shot down when start acting total leech or drunk.
    my observation. peace.


  38. Hey, I just wanted to leave a short comment with my opinion on the topic. First off, I agree with you, I don’t think being white makes any difference in Korea. In fact, in the long run in can end to relationships ending without having problems because many Korean women do not want to marry non-Korean men. However, I am a white man who did not date much in America, but do date a lot in Korea. How can I say there is not a difference. I think it is simply different attitudes on what is attractive. I am short and extrememly thin. In America, being underweight is probably less attractive than being overweight. Being short also did not help things. However, Korean women (although some do comment I am too thin) mostly think I look okay, or even good. They never call me short either. I simply adhere to their body type more closely then I did in America. But ultimatily what I have found in every country I have been (Korea, Japan, America, Philippines, Thailand, Singapore, and Maylasia) is that looks don’t really have that much to do with it. They can get a conversation going sometimes, but after you have reached the 2 minute mark, you better have something interesting to say, because unless you look like Brad Pitt, smart intelligent witty women don’t want to talk to a boring person. Maybe this goes both ways for me. I just don’t care what a woman looks like, if they don’t make me laugh on the first date (hopefully a lot), I don’t see any reason to see them again. And in the case of the women I have dated, this went both ways. I don’t think women care if I am white, skinny, or short…they just like to be around me if I they enjoy my company. Okay, and finally I want to to make one more comment. I do not find dating Korean women any harder than dating white women. Culture does play in, but if you can try to understand that culture, honestly, dating anyone is complicated and hard. I have had more than one white woman say rather rude things to me in Korea about my girlfriend being uninteresting or that I could never understand her, claiming our relationship had no depth. However, the two best relationships of my life (for different reasons) have been with Koreans. In fact my ex-girlfriend was my best friend, the best friend I have ever had, not just my girlfriend. Culture, race, looks, money, all that stuff has nothing to do with a success of a relationship in my opinion. Ultimatily, you have too be compatable, and that is on an individual basis and has nothing to do with your skin color or country of origin.


  39. I am Korean, and I am married to an American, which makes me a Korean-American. I have always liked foreign friends since cultural difference always interested me, and never got me bored. Korea is a pretty up-tight and competitive society and people are missing a big part of their life obsessed with career(money), status(money)and the future(money). My friends from out side of Korea always gave me different views on life which was refreshing. I never had a skin color preference, but my husband happened to be a white guy who has intelligence, lots of talents, big heart and extra weight.


  40. I think that you don’t attract females because you exude a “loser” mentality out of every pore. Your picture looks fine but you need to project a “winner” attitude with your body language and speech. You need to project a pro-active and can-do attitude and the make the women feel good around you. You also need to give the attitude to women in general that you don’t need them. If you project this around you, they will flock to you regardless of whether you look like Justin Bieber or not.


  41. I love the way you say things directly in your posts! I mean your views are very clear. Amazed by your frank way of writing! Honestly I believe, No matter how you look and to which country you belong. Personality and the right attitude towards life matters a lot in the long run.


  42. Hi Brent, I just published a post with a Pingback to this article. You can visit if you’d like. I’ve been here before to read this post. Now I’m back to reference it for my own observation. Thanks. Good stuff.


  43. This is pretty much spot on. About me: I lived in Asia for 9 years and went to connect with my roots. I’m ethnically Chinese. I’m 6 feet tall with an athletic build. I did much better in terms of intimate relationships with women than the white male teachers there. A couple of them had girlfriends but it wasn’t all across the board. I think many of them were either really old or socially awkward to begin with and they thought going to Asian would change that. I was told, more than once, that they wanted to go in order to get laid. Of those guys, none of them ever went out with a local and spent most of their time drinking. Socially awkward back home is socially awkward in Asia.

    Most Asian women I’ve found have extremely high standards for men. The Japanese, Korean and Chinese girls that I was with wanted more than just a nice personality. They are very picky and they wanted someone with a house, car, fat bank account, and look a certain way (slim, handsome). There are girls that won’t look for that but you’re scraping from the bottom of the barrel.

    A couple of guys had success but they were generally good looking guys or had to really scrape from the bottom of the barrel (girls that were not what anyone would call attractive and pushing 40 and not married).

    It’s not about skin color so much anymore. I think they might have been something that happened in the past. I think that past bled into our present day and many guys still have those misconceptions.

    I’m glad you wrote this and set the record straight.


  44. As long as you’re not Black, you can get a job and women in Asia. This is especially the case if you’re a Hollywood-style White guy, but as long as you’re White, you’re going to have an OK time. If you are Black, you can just forget it. Black folks should not travel to East Asia or associate with them. In fact, Black folks should re-segregate.


  45. Did you say that Asian (males, presumably) have better hair (than White men, presumably)? That cannot be further from the truth. Asian hair is stiff and thick, which means it sticks out when the hair grows out. Google Asian male porcupine hair. It’s a curse. Caucasian and Indians on the other hand have soft and fine hair which is way easier to manage.


  46. I think Korea and China must be at different stages in this regard.
    In Beijing, though you have to go to certain parts of the city, there are places where white guys will be more welcome than people of other races. Though it seems to be more for flings/short term sexual relationships (the places are befitting of this: grimy ass clubs).
    I would definitely agree that when it comes to serious relationships and marriage most men and women here would only consider other Chinese, but whether that’s down to how culturally conservative people are or actual tastes It’s hard to say.
    Is there also a stigma in Korea about having inter-racial relationships?


  47. Being white doesnt mean you can goto Asia and be a chick magnet, But being white means you can fish for certain types of girls very easily. There are a lot of asian woman that will throw themselves at a white guy. These arent the type of girl a decent man would want, but if you are just looking for a lay without much effort being white gets you a lot of pull


  48. I think the whole “Asian girls digging white guys” thing isn’t a myth but it is a misreading of the evidence. Girls anywhere dig tall guys (why do you think they wear high heels?). Height is one of the biggest determinants of male attractiveness for a woman, above weight, full hair, poor eyesight and even facial symmetry for many. White guys are on average taller than Asian guys, so white guys in Asia stand out as more attractive because they’re taller, not because they’re white. Statistically being white will improve your chances with women in Asia because statistically you are likely to be taller than the competition. It should be called “height fever”, not “white fever”.


  49. Been married 31 years to my Korean wife. From my perspective, Korean women are the best in nearly every regard. That is a generalization I know, because there are no doubt duds…but I couldn’t wish for my wife to be any more perfect. Intercultural/Interracial relationships are not difficult. Understanding and acceptance is the key. Case in point…my wife is the matriarch of our family…and hence…while we live here in the US (Idaho), our home is distinctly Korean in oh so many ways. Korean women are unbelievably strong and I wouldn’t want my wife any other way.


  50. I really enjoyed reading this. This is very true. Everything you said is so true. I’m glad you are able to shed light upon this stereotype. I also admire your sincerity. I think if most people were treated that why they would speak begrudgingly. Korea is all about looks. That’s why I’m scared to visit and/or live there. I feel like I’d have to lose 20 lbs and lose my tan.. and get plastic surgery in order to be able to walk outside without people giving me dirty looks. I’m also sad that you are treated that way. It’s a sad reality that people miss out on someone with humor and depth b/c of looks.


  51. I’m an italian-Amercan who lived half my life moving through Asia but mostly staying in the Philippines (lots of chinese, japs and koreans). From my experience I’ve realized that there will always be prejudice anywhere you go. The minority will always be picked on or wronged. In my and my father’s case despite putting in years of effort into interracial friendships we were never really accepted into the group even though we speak the language and have known them for years. Asians usually try to steal and cheat us out of money we really don’t have even people we’ve known for years and have considered friends. And as far as dating goes I can attest to the fact that girls will date good looking guys and guys will date good looking women. If you’re having trouble dating you probably need to work on yourself…. If you are bullied in America for being Asian you will be bullied and abused in Asia for being white/indian or of a different race. It’s the same everywhere. The sometimes just takes on a different form. Ex whites are usually bigger and more muscular. No sense in bullying physically or verbally tricking and isolation works better. Despite all these we as the human race need to learn to accept our differences and live together as one. Racism is a silly concept embraced by the less evolved and those who have never traveled or opened their minds.


    1. I know I travel a heck of a lot and have been to Japan and PI and Singapore, etc. You may have had a bad time adjusting to the environment and what not and made a lot of mistakes on your route in Japan. For one I know I am young way younger than in my 30’s like early 20’s I have always ran into problems with Japanese women where I am constantly on the go due to work. Sometimes I am not even reachable. Looks in truth from my experience are only the things girls look at first once past that period it’s a lot of body language and communication and what not. Yes in Japan I started having issues with the language barrier. PI man many of my coworkers are from there and going out with them and meeting with there family and single women. It can be a death warrant. Every payday everyone of them in a company of around 10000 hit western union and I have nearly signed my life away on many occasions. Different countries different responses too. Plus what the heck was going through your head when you thought Korea. Those guys are a lot like the French. Worst people to be around in the far East by far with the occasional cool cat. I think you may just be approaching the crowd wrong. But there are obvious signs your communication skills are underpar. Far under par. Plus girls do like confidence and what not. This is in truth a pity me party. I have grown cool with the fact that I at this time can’t have a decent relationship because of work. And most of my female coworkers are already married or seeing someone. So I have come to accept that until I settle back home.


  52. To be honest, I’d say this article is pretty much BS. I sort of agree that an ugly guy will have no greater success in Korea (due to cultural insistence on attractiveness), but average-to-above-average white men (by Western standards) generally correlates to above-average-to-hot in Korean standards. Yes, some (perhaps most) Korean women prefer Korean men, but this phenomenon nevertheless exists for a meaningful portion of the white male population in Korea.

    There are many reasons for this, including some degree of preference for certain features more common in white people(fair skin, high nose bridges, round eyes, etc), exoticism, extra attention, perception that they are from rich countries, etc. I won’t go into all, but they are fairly obvious.

    My point is NOT that a majority of Korean women prefer white men, or that a white man can more easily pick up an average Korean woman than a Korean man. My point is that many (probably most) white men will likely have better success attracting women in Korea than back home. Pay particular notice to the qualifiers I have used and the true scope of my argument. I admit that it may be true that a significant percentage (perhaps most) Korean women either refuse to date or enter a meaningful relationship with a white man. But guess what? The remaining women who ARE willing to date/marry white men vastly outnumber the number of white men in the country. In addition, some actively and sometimes exclusively pursue white men (some may say that they are sluts or just looking for flings, but we all know that not all of them are, and the insistence that they all or even mostly are is both highly racist and misogynistic). The vast majority of long-term white male expats are married to Korean women, and there is really no good reason to believe that any significant number of Korean women who actually do date Western men are not serious about the relationship any more than what one would expect normally.

    I don’t know how “ugly” the writer of this article is, but I think if he actually pursued Korean women, rather than simply noting that they don’t hit on him or express overt interest in him, he would probably find himself in a relationship with one fairly quickly. Moreover, if he insisted on marrying a Korean woman, he would likely find one at least as easily and of similar attractiveness as a western woman.

    A black guy will not experience the same effect, but if he is handsome, he will do very well (though not necessarily better than in the West) in Korea as well due to his innate exoticism and extra attention combined with his attractiveness. It is simply not true that black men experience some huge difficulty dating Korean women. The percentage of women willing to date/marry a black person may be low, but overall it is much higher than the number of black males.

    A lot of people in the comments, and in the article itself, are attempting to debunk a myth by setting up a straw man (the idea that all korean women prefer white men). That is simply stupid. Critical thinking skills are helpful. Saying that a white man can easily date Korean women in Korea is NOT the same as saying all Korean women prefer white guys.


    1. In the first sentence you agreed with the whole premise of the article. Being white does not make you more attractive to Asian women.

      With that said this is wrong –

      “My point is NOT that a majority of Korean women prefer white men, or that a white man can more easily pick up an average Korean woman than a Korean man. My point is that many (probably most) white men will likely have better success attracting women in Korea than back home.”

      Absolutely not. This is a ridiculous claim. White men will have less success with Korean women because they likely do not speak the language. Communication is the key to success and that drastically decreases by moving to Korea.


      1. I agree. I do very well in the USA but I did horribly in Korea. Koreans go more for pretty boys and American women tend to go for a more masculine look. I also think American women value personality far more than Korean women. To be fair though, I was never fluent in Korean. That obviously has a lot to do with it.

        But, I’m generalizing. There are certainly differences between preferences in cultures but everyone is also an individual at the end of the day.


        1. And Seaphrael from other comment said ” I always see pretty average or not so good looking western guys with really hot Korean girls, and they always tell me that they see great looking western guys with average looking girls. Girls who are average looking to them are often hot to us, and guys who I see as really average are seen as really attractive by a lot of Korean women.”

          By the way, I don’t know why I can’t comment below the post about hanbok vs kimono
          I tried several times and failed.

          I tried to share these gorgeous dress and ladies




          1. It might have blocked you if you tried to share multiple links. If you’d like, I’d love to have you write your opinion on a few ideas. I’ve always wanted more Koreans to share their opinions on this site, but writing in a foreign language is likely intimidating. I know I’d be horrified to write an article in Hangul. But, you seem like a smart and kind guy. I’d help edit and set up your article to make you feel comfortable.


        2. Though Korean girls seem to only pursue shallow things. but they value personality and are attracted to it indeed. I gaurantee.
          I saw ugly Korean guys got pretty Korean girls many times.

          . But I guess you haven’t had enough chance to demonstrate your good personality and inner things
          because of language barrier and situations.


          1. I was there for five years. I can tell you, personality is definitely more important to girls in the West. The first questions Korean women always ask are about height, money, and job. Korean women never wanted to talk about ideas, passions, etc.

            Don’t take my fairness as a concession – I had plenty of experiences.


        3. You got me wrong . I didn’t compare Korean girls to American girls.

          What I mean is that even though Korean women ask about height , job , etc.. , they are actually attracted to inner things.

          I have tons of experiences to prove it .


          1. Sure. I’m sure you’re right. I’m just saying, I think western girls put more value on personality than Korean girls. I have lots of experience, too.

            But here’s my point — Korean women ask about those things first because they are more concerned with superficial stuff than western women. Like I said though, every individual is different. I’m sure there are some Korean girls I didn’t meet who are all about the personality.

            Finally, being superficial is not necessarily a bad thing. Korea is a much more competitive society than America and whom a person marries is very significant. I don’t think it’s bad that Koreans do this, it just never played well to my strengths. I hope you understand.


        4. Of course I agree that Korean women are more concerned with superficial stuff than American women.

          I just mean that superficial stuff isn’t only thing that can attract Korean women. Because women is hard-wired to be attracted to inner attribute of man.

          also I think that social and economic thing affect girl’s choice about dating . You can see more gold diggers in economical poor and unstable countries. ( among mordern capitalism countries)

          And I don’t know what exactly you are talking about. writing an article on this website? or comment? Anyway thank you for welcoming my opinions


          1. I didn’t know that there are other writers here. Any article about Korea? .though I’m not good at English, maybe I can write some. . I can’t promise it now. But If I write a article where should I send it?


          2. I see. I’m not sure whether I can, because it takes me a long time to write an article in English. thus I can’t promise ,but If I write , I will send email to you . tho I don’t know when it will be


  53. True story. I lived in Japan for nearly 12 yrs. There are Japanese women that prefer different races as do Americans. Some view Gaijin as playthings as well. White or whatever color, doesn’t matter. My wife is Japanese. We lived together before we married. She is not your stereotypical Japanese woman, very independant. We have been married 15 yrs and known each other longer. Its not without its challenges, Most American men go to Japan expecting the women to speak English and show little to no desire to learn Japanese. My situation was reversed, I learned the language and it enhanced my experience that much more, plus it allowed me to meet my wife. Regardless of race or nationality, ther will be cultural and language barriers.


  54. are U black? don`t worry about sex with kimchi girl

    they like your big cock

    caucasus>>>african>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(no one night)>>>> asian

    you can sex with preteen, you know?

    korean jailbait age is 13

    but no prostitution

    do not give money to them


  55. I found this blog after googling asian girls being attracted to white guys. I am 29 year old guy born and raised in the US and I seem to attract korean and other asian girls a lot here. I am currently dating two of them. I am very attracted to American girls but they are just not that into me. I guess it is just something about my look or personality


  56. dude you’re just… ugly
    its not because you’re white or anything of the sort, it’s because you’re ugly. there are ugly men in all races


    1. Bravo Isaac, that’s the point of the whole article. Skin color does not matter; some men are just attractive and others are not. But regardless of what you think of me, I got personality for days and I assure that’s good enough for several women.


  57. From the white men I’ve know in Korea, they can get girls usually. However, the type of Korean woman that goes for white men is not the average Korean woman. The thing is most people prefer people from their own culture and race. That’s the norm. Having the same language, the same cultural norms, the same cultural values, the same families, the same education system, etc,. is what most people anywhere prefer. Asian women with white men in the USA are the most common interracial, but are still an incredibly small minority compared to white/white couples. So of course, Korean women are going to prefer Korean men. I mean who gets the most desireable women in Korea? Korean men do. Of course they do, it’s their country and they are the ones that run it. So when I encountered white men who thought they were so awesome in Korea because of their whiteness, I found it incredibly narcissistic. Sure, white men can get Korean women. However, for Korean women to date white men, there is a HUGE stigma against it. Korean men dont’ want to date Korean women who have dated white men. Also families discourage it because of the stigma and because of the difficulties in communication they would have with their son in law if he were foreign and did not speak Korean.

    The majority of white men/korean woman couples don’t last. However, there are some that do and are successful. Relationships are hard enough when you are from the same country, race, language, etc,. and when you add in international issues such as visas, language, cultural norms, racism, etc,. it makes that relationship 100x harder. So I think people should realistic about their expectations when they go to asia in terms of dating. Dating will happen, marriage rarely, and of course if all you want is to have sex and a fun time, that’s probably the easiest to do.


  58. Most of the fetishist white men looking for Korean woman fall into the category of insecure losers who couldn’t get a REAL job and a white woman back in their respective countries.


    1. Not true, we are all attracted to different people. I think you are more insecure of foreign men dating your Korean women. That’s no reason to hate on anyone. At the end of the day, if anyone can make a relationship work, I say go for it. Relationships are hard enough, no reason to discriminate because of race or skin color.


  59. What a loser! You can’t score because you are a dork or pity-seeker. I know plenty of guys who don’t have the looks but who have PERSONALITIES. They do quite well. Typical white self-hater. Roll over, you’re done.


  60. Brent – I read through this blog and for what it is worth, I would like to give my perspective as a white male raised in the midwest, which is based on living, working and having relationships with Asian women. About the whiteness issue, I respectfully disagree. I do agree that attractive males attract women (of course), but what one considers attractive is subjective. For example, I have met women I thought were attractive, but after getting to know them, they were no longer attractive and vice versa. What attractiveness does for you is that it gets you the introduction and as 1 person stated, if you are boring after 2 minutes, you are done. Based on my experiences, charisma is the winning trait. If you have charisma, you will get dates.

    I can tell you as a fact and based on my actual living in Asia (china, Singapore, Taiwan, Vietnam) and having relationships with Asian women from those countries as well as others, whiteness is a preference for many many people in asia. That does not mean the whiteness has to be western white, Asians generally prefer to be white as possible. For example, in South Vietnam where it is 90 degrees every day of the year, you do not see dark skinned women. What do you see? Despite the hot and humid weather, you will see most women in public fully dressed from head to toe and their entire bodies covered to avoid the sun having contact with their skin. Even when they ride their motorbikes, the only things you can see are their eyes and the hair extending from the helmet. You will even see them wearing jackets! I really can’t imagine how uncomfortable that must be in the heat and humidity. What does that say about whiteness? It is obvious and yes, they prefer whiteness, even from their Asian male counterparts.

    However, that does not mean you are the king. It is just a preference for men of lighter skin. I agree that attractiveness is important, but being lighter skin is also very important, if not more. Trust me, black men, they will have a difficult time no matter how attractive they may be. How do I know? Again, Asian women talking about men to me. Let me tell you, they are not generally attracted to black men and 1 group of women told the reason is that they look dirty, then they laughed, but you know the laugh was not a joking laugh because that is what they think. That does not mean that a black man cannot date an Asian girl, just getting that introduction is more difficult based on their bias. Therefore, I respectfully disagree with your assessment that being white is not an advantage in Asia. Believe me, I hear Asian girls all the time talk about skin color. If a guy is attractive and dark, his odds are low. If he is white and attractive, much higher odds.

    With respect to attractiveness, like I said, it is subjective. I have met many beautiful Asian women and most of them, I would never marry. Because inside they are not attractive and that is what counts in my world. I disagree with one post that stated women that are not after a home, car or fat bank account are the bottom of the barrel? I see it the opposite, girls that are materialistic are the bottom of the barrel and those traits have nothing to do with economic or social standing because I have met both poor and rich women with that same mentality, what can you buy me? Not my kind of women because they have -0- or low substance.

    You say you do not find Korean women attracted to you? Maybe you should do some research and/or understand, generally, that Asian women are not assertive. They do not want to come across as an easy lay and many are traditional. Thus, they may be interested in you, but you are not aware of it because they are not going to let you know! Good Asian girls take time and are very picky. It is a slow process, but you need to find a way to meet them without coming across aggressively or desperate. So please do not think Korean women are not attracted to you, I think you do not fully understand their approach about meeting a man. I do not have a lot of experience with Korean women, but I have worked with and dated a few (both Korean and usa based). So I would not get down on yourself about your looks, especially if you have personality (i.e., charisma) because if you have that, then you will be attractive to the right women.

    Let me tell you, meeting women as an adult male is not easy in any country. For example, I have never had a problem meeting girls or having girlfriends. Yes, I always had western girlfriends growing up because there was no diversity in the Midwest. However, when I went off to college in Boston, that changed everything. My first 2 girlfriends were western, but I was crazy about a girl from south America. I was also attracted to Asian women, but just like the latin girl, I just did not know how to approach her, given my Midwestern background and -0- experience with people of other races and cultures. However, as luck would have it, my first roommate was from south America and we became best friends (still close today 25 years later). I became involved in the int’l student body and my life dating western women ended. Yes, I have not dated a western woman since 1988.

    As I became more of an international person, meeting non-western women became easier. Even after I graduated and moved to NYC, I still dated non-western women. No, it is not because of the stereo types that I think foreign men make because they do not like western men dating and marrying their women. I found that many non-western women were and are, in general, more conservative and traditional and that is who I am and I am attracted to those character traits. However, as an adult working in NYC, people think it is so easy to date with 10 million people. Well, when you work 60 to 80 hours a week, guess what, it is extremely difficult! So I do not know your work situation, but I am sure in Korea is not different in NY, if you work a lot, it is not easy to meet people.

    So what did I do? I moved to South America for 1 year. I learned the language and have been fluent for more than 20 years. Yes, being white in South America and speaking fluent Spanish makes a huge difference in meeting local girls. Trust me, many latinos in latin America are just as racist as white people against dark skinned people (i.e., lighter is better, even to latinos). What am I trying to say, if you are in korea, you should become fluent ASAP. How do you think that wonderful personality of yours can be communicated? So what I see, I see an adult male working a lot and does not speak Korean. You have many odds against you at this point and thus, I recommend you learn Korean, take some night classes, join a church or temple or join some social groups. I guarantee you will have dates with Korean women. Being foreigner, even if you do not consider yourself attractive, will get you attention and if you speak Korean, your dating world will change.
    Back to attractiveness, I just want to point out that you may think what you want, but others will have differing opinions about your attractiveness. For example, I have had girls tell me I am attractive and others tell me I am not. I do not lose sleep over it because I am who I am and if they do not find me attractive, so be it. Stop worrying about it, because what I have found from my international life, as 1 girl stated here, the rules of dating are pretty much the same.

    What does that mean? Despite I have dated girls from every continent except Africa, I do not treat them any different from any other girl. Yes, there are subtle differences, but in the end, the pursuit of true love, respect and happiness is similar.

    With respect to Asian girls, like I said, if they are a good girl, you need to work at it, but they are still women and you need to remember that. Of course, there are bad girls everywhere. Just like there are gold diggers in the west, there are gold diggers in the east. Trust me, the behaviors are similar. I have had my fair share of Asian gold diggers, but it did not last long. If you know what to look for, it is not difficult to identify them. I actually dated a beautiful girl from Ha Noi and although she was sweet, kind and respectful, in the end, she just wanted the bank account. Even after I ended it, she called me and tried to be sweet, but it was still a request for me to spend money on her! Of course, I have had others that get mad and basically will not talk to me. What do I say? GOOD.

    So where am I going with this? Before I met my wife, who is from Vietnam, I was not happy with my experiences in Asia. I did not have a problem meeting women, I had a problem meeting a good girl, a local girl. I even did online dating and boy was that a surprise and not in a good way. I was thinking about transferring my job to SEA because living there makes it much easier. However, I actually came across the profile of my wife to be. I did not think much of it. I sent her an email to introduce myself and I was not expecting a lot. She is university educated and has a professional career. To my surprise, her English was pretty good so we could communicate. I thought we could be friends and did not think much of it. I was in the dating scene at the time, but nothing serious.
    Her email was kind and sweet, as the beginning always is like that. I asked her if we could talk on skype and to my surprise, she said yes. Well, as soon as I saw her, my heart jumped out of my body. But of course I did not tell her or show her. I just talked to her as I would any other girl I meet. We chatted for months, not every day, because I was not about to push this thing and was not expecting much. Remember, Asian women, good girls, are not assertive. So I let this go on for months and we became good friends and one day she asked me if I interested in being her boyfriend. Of course, without hesitation, I said NO. I was not comfortable. Well, many months after that, she told me that if I had said YES, we were finished! By me saying NO, that made her crazy! Why would a white guy not want to be the boyfriend of a beautiful and educated good Asian girl? Maybe it is fate, but I was just being myself and treating her as I would any other girl I am interested in dating. Point, do not get caught up in these stereotypes, just be yourself!

    Please understand, even though I said no, it did not make her mad, sad or angry. It actually made me more attractive to her. So despite me telling her no, we still chatted and our relationship kept growing. She was always sweet, kind, caring and understanding. I was amazed at how good she was to me, despite her not being my girlfriend. She shared all with me about her life, her family, her education, her work and her dreams. Of course, I managed to arrange some business in Vietnam and off I went.

    I do not want to make this long so I will keep it short. What did I learn from her? She never talks about money. Sometimes she will pay willingly without hesitation and if I try to repay her, she gets mad at me and refuses. One time she said to me “if I take your money, I will feel farther away from you.” You get the point?

    In the end, people have preferences and nobody can say one is fact vs fiction because all depends on your life experiences. So my friend, forget all the myths and stereotypes, just be yourself.


  61. this article essentializes race so much. bottom line is that the power of whiteness (benefiting in the labor, dating, cultural market) in asia if you are read as “white” is real. it’s one reason whites are already identified as “native english speakers” in koreans while other minority (including asian) americans are not (ex. korean americans are “gyopos” and not “native english speakers). there are even ads that say: 45,000 won/hour for a native english teacher, no gyopos. so.

    this sort of logic transfers, not surprisingly in the dating world. so while i “sympathize” with your personal struggle to feel any privilege in asia, the fact that white americans can simply go to asia after graduating from college and make decent to great money by simply “teaching” their mother tongue (while most other countries in the world–let alone korea) can simply go to the u.s. and ‘teach korean” speaks to this unquestioned privilege. you could say “that’s just how the world is” but it would behoove you to at least realize that YES if you are read as “white” in korea (not to mention the u.s.–ferguson and racial profiling anyone?) you have an automatic advantage–regardless of how many individual white guys (ugly or not) do or do not get attention from asian women.


    1. Yes, Native English Speakers have an advantage for teaching English but they are also looked at as second class citizens in Korea. Your privilege rant shows what you’re really interested about, but this article is more or less pointing to the fact that Asian women are attracted to individuals and attractive men, not just to white guys. Your comment is severely misplaced.


  62. Upon attending my sister’s wedding in Seoul (she’s caucasian. He’s Korean. They met in the west) My receding hairline/stern look drew comments like ‘Bruce Willis’ and ‘Nicolas Cage’ (I look like neither of those guys)- by some of the nerdy nice guy friends of my sisters ( “Useless but thankyou”? i felt like saying). Unfortunately, I too had the misguided opinion that maybe all my lady problems would end in Korea. Oh sure, I got one translated ‘you’re a handsome guy’ style comment from a cute Korean girl (my sister’s work colleague- who I met briefly). But upon taking social initiative with some of the other lovely korean girls- my ‘confidence’ was met with indifference, perhaps the odd shy laugh, but mostly I was getting polite rejection. I did feel like it seemed if one was a white man in Korea- one had to have the sharp cheekbones and effortless charm of a brad pitt type guy and dress like some American Collegiate Hero or something.


  63. Whites don’t have a tendency to wrinkle more. Blacks wrinkle more than white do just look at old black people they wrinkly as shit especially the old black people in tribes super wrinkles like a shar pei.


  64. Brent you must be butt ugly if the girls aren’t talking to ya. Seriously, I don’t know what you are doing wrong but I know plenty of Korean girls are interested in different nationalities and these guys would be easily passed over in their own country. You don’t look all that bad in your profile pic however I know appearance is important and its way better if you can speak the language a little. Having said that Korean women as in most countries are after attractive looking males, tall etc. Money is also equally important, but can you blame them? Who wants to struggle with a partner and end up poor later on in life?
    Educated and/or open-minded women are easier to talk with in my experiences, also having Korean male friends that can introduce you to others goes along way.
    Having said that I agree with you, being white doesn’t give you the ticket. It’s a whole host of things, as it should be. 🙂


  65. I think its worth pointing out a couple of things here…

    First of all, Koreans are quite different from other Asians when it comes to notions of race and culture, and their attitudes towards interracial dating. In my experience, even in Western nations like Australia and New Zealand, Korean girls tend to exclusively date Korean men, avoiding even other East Asian ethnicities like Chinese and Japanese. On the other hand, Chinese girls, Japanese girls, South-East Asian and South Asian girls are far more open to the idea of dating outside of their race and culture. So I think this article misses the point slightly when it conflates the dating preferences and behaviours of Korean women with those of “Asian” women in general. Attitudes towards white people differ markedly across East and South-East Asia, with Koreans being rather unimpressed by Western culture, Chinese and Japanese respecting it, and Filipinos and Thais pretty much inundated in it.

    Secondly, there is a definite cultural preference for light skin, not just in Korea but across Asia – including places as far afield as India, the Middle East and Indonesia. Even though East Asian women may not have an actual preference for men of European ethnicity, they do prefer men to be light-skinned. Many women will not even consider you romantically, regardless of whether you are tall and handsome or otherwise, if you have dark skin. In Northern Asia, women hesitate to even become romantically involved with South-East Asians and some Southern Chinese men, due to their darker complexions, let alone men from South Asia, Africa and Latin America. Even in SE Asian nations like Thailand, women often look down on men of “darker” ethnicities – including South Asians, Burmese, Cambodians, Malays and Filipinos. So being European may not be a benefit in and of itself, but being light-skinned is a definite benefit. This benefit also applies to light-skinned Turkish, Arab, Persian, Hispanic and Northern Indian men. But White and Northern Asian men will always be favoured – perhaps Northern Asian men more than Whites, but being White is still better in this context than anything apart from Northern Asian. A Korean guy I once knew in New Zealand said that his (rather racist) parents put it this way – you can get rid of Caucasian genes in one generation… darker traits take 3 or more to disappear.

    A close female Chinese friend in Australia put it this way – she said that Asian girls in general do not actively “prefer” White men, but they consider White and Asian men (of their respective Asian ethnicity) to be equally good. Men of other ethnicities less so. There are also some Westernised Asian girls who do actively prefer White men, due to their immersion in majority White societies and standards of beauty. In addition, many Asian women are distrustful or even scared of non-White foreign men, due to their mostly negative depictions in the Western and global media – Black men as violent thugs, Middle Eastern men as terrorists, Indian men as rapists, Hispanic men as drug lords, etc., whereas White men are often portrayed positively or neutrally in Western media. These regions are also portrayed as existing in states of extreme poverty and with a severe lack of sanitation, creating the impression in East Asia that these people are inherently “dirty” and uncultured. Especially in Japan and Korea, non-Christian/Buddhist foreigners are considered to be devotees of backward and dangerous ideologies. The fact that Western nations are wealthy and peaceful is taken as a sign, in the meritocratic societies of East Asia, that White people are also inherently intelligent and hard working, when compared with other foreigners. Non-White foreign men in places like Hong Kong and Singapore are often stereotyped as low-class labourers and service staff – professions which people in these societies look down on. Thus, as far as foreigners go, White men are seen as the most harmless and safest choice, with an acceptable culture and system of values. The language barrier is the only problem, but most people in East Asia are more accepting of and willing to communicate in European languages as opposed to other languages (including nearby Asian ones) – and if you are a White man who is willing to learn the local language, things become a lot easier.

    So while you aren’t entirely incorrect in your point that Asian women don’t necessarily fall over themselves for White men, you guys are definitely at the very least equal to Asian men in most Asian countries, and occasionally even have it easier. Your experiences in Korea – the only country in Asia where most women would never consider an inter-ethnic relationship of any sort, should not be extrapolated to represent the experience of a White man in East or South-East Asia. Talk to Black, Indian or even SE Asian men in East Asian countries, and you’ll realise that good looks and personality are not always good enough, in what is essentially a collection of some of the most superficial, judgemental and image-based societies on the planet. Even if they are attracted to individuals as you say, being dark almost always disqualifies you – unless you’re lucky enough to find one of the few women who are entirely unaffected by the prevailing notions of beauty, culture and acceptability in their society and don’t care about what their friends and family might think – these women are obviously few and far between in any society, not just in Asia.


    1. I think I agree with you. This article definitely conflates Korean women with Asian women. Of course, when an Asian women reads this articles she’ll agree with my points because everyone is an individual.


  66. My experience in Canada is a little different where we do see a lot of white guys with asian girls and yellow fever is a thing. I hope that we all see each other as people and not as racial types.


  67. When I was in Korea I had 5 dates a week after I had been there for 2 weeks, I managed to score a girlfriend in 1 month and some side ladies. Its all about attitude. Be confident, charming and a challenge. My philosophy is all women are the same, from Timbuktu to Taipei. David DeAngelo, Doc Love, all the pick up artists say the same thing, challenge, challenge, challenge.


  68. I know I am a bit late to the party BUT what a superb post. Full of truths, I hope you are happy and in a contented relationship, I am going to check the rest of your blog to find out.


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